Want to know the truth? My truth? Blogging makes me feel completely vulnerable and alive all at the same time. I love LOVE documenting, I love capturing moments through photos, but the words don’t always come easy, they never have. I have so many things on my mind I want to share with my future self, children and all of you but it’s not always easy for me.
The last few months I’ve been digging and doing some soul searching, it has been so good and uncomfortable again all at the same time. Basically stepping outside of my comfort to figure out my purpose, goals, dreams and ambitions. And I’ve realized that this feeling of vulnerability will never go away if I want to continue to grow and better myself. It’s through those feeling that pushes me to become my better self, wife and Mother.
If I’m being honest there are definitely times and I much rather just curl up and hide in my bed with a bag of red vines, a Pepsi and watch Netflix. But I made it a goal to myself and family to keep showing up, to keep blogging and documenting as hard as it may be at times but I’m going to try really hard not to let my insecurities stop me. To continue fighting those negative voices in my head saying, stop, you’re not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough. To continue ignoring those voices and to stop “feeding them” I’ve noticed they’re a lot quieter when I’m not feeding them. Let me explain, I remember reading this quote at my Moms house and it has stuck with me ever since. It’s called,
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
I think what I want everyone to get out of this post is, we are all fighting to feed one wolf or the other. We all have insecurities and battles we are fighting. And just because I’m choosing to feed the good wolf through my blog and social media it doesn’t make my life more perfect than the next. I want this space to be a positive place and full of fun memories and inspiration. I want it to be something fun to look back on. I want to thank those who have stuck with us from the beginning of this blogging journey and welcome any new readers! We are so happy to have you here! And just know that whatever it may look like on your end, this blogging stuff isn’t always easy for me, but I feel like it’s what I should be doing, so I’m going to continue to do it until I feel otherwise. In fact, baby girl would not let me put her down so she ended up falling asleep in one arm so I have been typing this post one handed haha. That’s how determined I’ve become. Because I think this stuff matters. I think sharing our stories matters. So cheers to pushing ourselves guys and stepping outside of our comfort zone to become our better selves.
Sending you all the love your way and I hope you can make today great!